You deserve it!

Apr 18, 2021

4 min read

Mental health.

So much fear is attached to those two words. We all know that in order to live a healthy life there needs to be some amount of exercise and a well-rounded diet, but what about the power hub that is our mind?

The mind can be such a scary place. It is the only place where the only visitor is yourself. Only you know what is going on or being said in there. Another person can only know if you choose to tell them.

I think the mind can be a safe haven but it can also be a prison. A toxic mind is like poison. You keep pumping in the negative thoughts and the pessimistic images until there is so much build-up you feel as though you're suffocating.

I've been there. Hell, I am still there sometimes. What I have learned in my very short 26 years of life is that you are in control. Everything that is thought or felt in your mind belongs to you. The problem is that most people become complacent and choose not to fight back against dark thoughts. "This is how it's gonna be." "This is my life now." NO!

Those thoughts may never fully leave you but they certainly do not define you. That is something I struggle with from time to time. Grad school has definitely been a test to that.

When I got accepted to The University of Alabama I felt so many emotions. Joy. Excitement. Hopefulness. Fear. Anxiety. Uncertainty. I was about to have to move four hours away from everything I have known for the past 15 years and live somewhere completely alone. Minus my cats of course. I'll have to dedicate a post to my fur babies another time.

My point is that this move and this master's program have been some of the biggest personal challenges for me. I have mentioned this in one of my past posts I'm sure. I am approaching the end of my master's classes. Two weeks and then a summer internship is all that stands between me and that degree.

It has all gone by so fast. I literally blinked and here I am about to finish. Life is so short when you really think about it. I still feel like I am in high school sometimes. And now I am sitting in my own apartment in Tuscaloosa pushing 27. It's crazy.

This past year has been so hard. I feel as though I am doing nothing but class, homework, work, repeat. The same routine day in and day out. Well, yesterday I took a day to myself. An entire day away from any school assignments and I took off work for the day.

I realize that school takes up 90 percent of my time, and I feel drained most of that time also. While I do make time to write occasionally or go to the gym to decompress, I have only taken very few moments to just be still and really separate myself from homework.

I experienced my first A day at the university. I sat in the student section in Bryant-Denny Stadium for the first time. What an experience. Just being in that place so close to the players and the field where so many people stepped over the years. Don't judge me, but yesterday was technically the first football game I have ever been to. Yes, a 26-year-old, born and bred southerner had never been to a football game until yesterday.

I experienced Gallettes, home of the Yellowhammer, a dangerously delicious cocktail where you cannot taste the alcohol. What a dangerous way to lure college students to a drunken demise. I kid.

While I did get burnt to a crisp in the hot Alabama sun, I loved every minute of it. I went home and decompressed for a couple of hours just me and my cats. My fellow extroverted introverts understand. You can only "people" for so long before you have to recharge. Then I got to spend time with two girls that I have had the pleasure of working with and getting to know the past few months.

The moral of this post is I took time for myself. Not because someone told me to or anything. I knew I was burnt out. My mind was so full of what needed to be done next. Stress is more potent than a virus in my opinion (excluding the coronavirus of course).

I knew my stress was consuming me and I needed just one day to free my mind of responsibilities. Being an adult is hard enough. Living life is hard sometimes. Don't forget to do things that make you happy. Whether that's calling up an old friend, reading a good book, or just going to your favorite restaurant or coffee shop.

We only have one life. One chance to take risks and say screw it from time to time. I am not trying to preach here, but I do want to share that you are your most important asset. Take care of yourself. Even if it just for a few hours or an entire day. Mental health matters, but it all starts with you.

I hope this brings light to someone. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break. You deserve it and as always happy reading friends!